Last of the Mohicans Drinking Game

last of the mohicans drinking game

"I WILL find you! Whatever the cost."

I’m surprised it took me this long to digitally record this masterpiece of a drinking game.  Mark my words, Last of the Mohicans is arguably one of the best and most absurd movie drinking games you can play. (the other one I can think of is Disney’s Three Musketeers, which I’ll let my sister compose at a later date)

For years, this film sat upstairs in my parents room, hidden away from my eyes due to violent content and adult themes.  However, the day Ken Frapper (name changed for privacy reasons and repercussions) came in as a substitute for my 4th grade Social Studies class, my life changed forever.  Fortunately, we were supposed to be studying the history of the French and Indian War, and Ted thought we’d learn the most from an in-class screening of this 1992 absolute blockbuster.

I learned what scalping was.  I learned that there is no need to beat around the bush (like those stupid Englishmen) when you want to get with an aristocratic nurse in colonial times.  I learned that Mohicans were the good guys and the Hurons were EVIL.  But most importantly, I learned that you don’t need to change up a soundtrack to make a movie memorable.

This is my favorite movie drinking game to play of all time.  My brother Marahute and I get so horrifically sloshed when we watch this, we often run it back in French with English subtitles.  Have a blast and remember, Daniel Day Lewis only wins Best Actor awards.

Drink every time…

  • Anytime a skirmish breaks out
  • Someone is physically injured in hand to hand combat (scalped, beat with a war club, etc.)
  • Nathaniel “Long Rifle” Hawkeye fires a musket
  • Anytime you catch someone reloading a musket
  • Madeleine Stowe (the leading lady) gets sexier
  • A Mohican runs up a mountain

DEATH RULE

  • Drink every time you notice that the soundtrack hasn’t changed a bit.

About: Esteban

Esteban is the Editor in Chief of RantingEsteban.com. Check out his page on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @RantingEsteban, or send him an email.

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