Diary of a Mets Fan – Surveying the Scene

Jose Reyes

Happy Trails!

I saw Jose Reyes when he was a Binghamton Met. Repeatedly in fact. Did I know who he was or what he was supposed to become? Hell no. Am I glad he’s gone fishing with the Marlins? Hell yes. Much like the Buddy Nix decision not to sell the farm to snag RG III, when you are trying to build a championship team you cannot sacrifice your future for one guy.  Not re-signing Reyes for an absurd amount of money, a portion of which the Mets owe to Madoff creditors was the right move.

However, the volatility of the NFL allows glimmers of playoff chances every year for the Bills, and more so this year than ever before.  The Mets… blech, gut, bleed out, bandage it up, recover, then learn to walk again.  Bills are entering their third year of rebuilding, while the Mets (rightfully) just dumped their best player.  What a great time to jump on the wagon!  Lets take a look at what the 2012 New York Mets look like from an Esteban perspective.

David “I do a Nii-Quaye with every swing” Wright – 3B
Age: 29
Fantasy Dollar Value: $31

For someone who’s name I hear quite often, this dude never really strikes me as anything special.  Paying 31 dollars for this old man seems like a ripoff, especially with recent Met history.  So he hit lots of RBI’s quite a while ago.  Does that matter now in a rebuilding year?  Only if you hit runs NOW.  Dump him for some young talent, and pay off those investment debts.

Ike “I like myself, and I’m going to eat your children” Davis – 1B
Age: 24
Fantasy Dollar Value: $4

A sleeper if I ever saw one.  I actually noticed this guy last year on the TV between episodes of How It’s Made and Jeopardy, before Comcast cut off my free cable.  Sucks that he tripped over a foul line to hamstring his season.  Apparently the Mets suck so bad that they are moving in the fences.  This means good things for all, especially this gruff young son of a bitch who will Pujols your left forearm if you aren’t careful.

Lucas “Oil” Duda – OF
Age: 26
Fantasy Dollar Value: $1

Power hitter, improving youngster, yo me gusta.  Having a five year career in the Minors is like Matt Barkley returning for his USC senior season: tons of experience gained, and a chance to replace Mark Sanchez as an actual solution.

Johan “Carlos” Santana – SP
Age: 32
Fantasy Dollar Value: $1

And Two Bits!!!” Shut up Judd, you’re an idiot.  Johan ain’t as pretty as Laurey Williams, and is even more fragile.  Stay away.  I predict he throws exactly 33 strikeouts before blowing out his upper dorsimus muscle and retiring.

Jason “Pay me cause I done good on the Red Sux” Bay – OF
Age: 33
Fantasy Dollar Value: +/- 2 yen

Good god what a bonehead.  Have some damn self respect and at least TRY to earn a paycheck.  Was it you behind the moving-the-fences-in strategy?  At least talk to Ryan Brawn and get on what he’s taking, you are old!

Daniel “Not related to that waste of space Troy” Murphy – 2B
Age: 26
Fantasy Dollar Value: 2 Third Reich Deutsche Marks

Ya probably couldn’t spend it anywhere except a Mississippi Correctional Facility, but it seems like this guy could get on a hot streak and carry some offensive production.  Plus, wouldn’t you want to go out drinking with him?

R.A. “Bouton’s my Hero” Dickey
Age: 37
Fantasy Dollar Value: A hundred thousand El Guapo pesos

How can you not love a knuckleball pitcher?  Apparently throwing doesn’t hurt at all, so that’s why an old geezer like Dickey can still be playing.  Apparently he was a stellar Resident Advisor the University of Tennessee.  Now that Tim Wakefield is outta’ the picture, It’s Dickey’s time to shine.

I’ve run out of time to cover them all, but have no fear, we’ll cover the ones who matter.  Lets all now laugh and remember that Jose Reyes, while supremely talented, is a douche bag who didn’t earn his batting title, and deserves to be yet another Miami resident that can overshadow LeBron.

About: Esteban

Esteban is the Editor in Chief of RantingEsteban.com. Check out his page on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @RantingEsteban, or send him an email.

4 comments

  1. Conor says:

    Good stuff here Esteban. I’ve been saying for the last two years that its about time Bay gets back on the juice. And I’m with ya on your Reyes analysis- were better off dumping him. But i’m still all about Wright, gets me real pumped to think about him and Davis tearing it up in the next few years. Plus Murph and Duda…I see a bright future.

  2. Esteban says:

    Thanks Conor. Glad we concur about Reyes. I sure hope you are right about Wright, though I’m always cautious at the beginning of a season. Obviously you’re gonna be better than you were last year, cause the team is doing “all” the right things to move in a forward direction (except the Atlanta Falcons).

  3. Conor says:

    Ha. The Falcons. But dont get me wrong here, as excited as I am for some players (i.e Wright, Davis, Duda, Niese, Harvey?) to potentially have breakout years, i’m still not to sure bout the Metsies chances of winning games. I would say that they’re not really making all the right moves. We needed to sign a middle of the order starting pitcher, veteran lefty catcher, AND a fourth outfielder! But none of this happened, Esteban! If guys stay healthy they might be fun to watch, but thats about all to be excited about right now. a bit like watching your Bills- some fun guys, but just not enough depth to get the job done.

    • Esteban says:

      Whoa whoa whoa, hold your caballos. Lefty catcher sounds good, because left handed players are naturally gifted athletes. (Griffy, Bill Bradley, Willis Reed, Austin Croshere) But I don’t even know what middle of the order means. Don’t only three people play in the outfield? Your advanced level of knowledge is impressive. Give me a month and I’ll know what you’re talking about.

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