Cheaper by the Dozen (2003) Drinking Game

Cheaper by the Dozen

They used the same slogan for “Santa Claws: Elf Invasion”. On a related note, I want to watch all of these.

Christmas movies don’t get any better than this!  Ok, just kidding.  Mi mujer y yo needed something to watch, and I’ll basically agree to watch any movie in which I can come up with a drinking game.

For the educational portion, Cheaper by the Dozen was actually a book published in 1948.  Far out.  The 2003 version of the film was actually a remake of the original flick, released in 1950.  Unfortunately for die-hard fans of the original, this movie bears no resemblance to the book other than the presence of 12 children.  (if it did, the plot would revolve around the early and sudden demise of Steve Martin, and instead focus on the adventures of Bonnie Hunt. Guhhhhhhhh.)

Now back to reality: yes, this is a family comedy movie that was released during the x-mas movie season.  While it won’t do as well as The Hobbit, Steve Martin is as spectacular as he always is in everything, and it never really gets too slow to bore audiences.  So, if you are forced into watching Cheaper by the Dozen against your will, this drinking game will ease your pain.

Drink every time:

  • Someone causes a mess
  • Mark is spurned by his family
  • Slapstick comedy is used to get laughs (double if a child in the room actually laughs at the attempt)
  • You hear a terrible (and I mean god awful/habanero oil in your eyeballs) 90’s song
  • Ashton Kutcher.


  • Drink every time Hillary Duff opens her mouth.

BONUS: The climactic scene features one of the greatest songs ever written, Classical Gas.  Thanks Mason Williams, You’re welcome, cave dweller.

About: Esteban

Esteban is the Editor in Chief of Check out his page on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @RantingEsteban, or send him an email.

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