Top Gun: Meg Ryan’s a Babe

First and foremost let’s put this out there first, Meg Ryan possibly has the best part in this movie. Not only does she make me want to be Goose (SPOILER ALERT: who dies 5/8th of the way through the film, so it’s not exactly a “desirable” final destination) but makes me want to have children as well. I still want to give my offspring several embarrassing middle names. Obviously, not ready for fatherhood. Anyways…

…a timeless 1987 directed by Tony Scott, action film extraordinaire, and produced by film Pirate himself Jerry Bruckheimer, ‘Top Gun’ needs to be aired with a damn good subwoofer. Play this one with the bass thumping your chest with every fly by, admirals daughter, and gayly hit volleyball.

How the one liners are still somehow relevant over almost 30 years? I don’t have a F-14 clue. How many times has this movie been used to sing “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” to a poor unfortunate soul at a bar? That data is still not in but I’m glad to say I’ve contributed to that stat.

Don’t think, just put it on and drink until you feel like your face is making love in slow motion, probably in black and white if you’re doing it correctly.


1. Any time they use a call sign
2. Any time “wingman” is referenced or seen on screen
3. Any homoerotic tendency is shown passed off as merely “military male bonding”
* Any time they’re acting slightly ‘gay’
4. Any time ‘Iceman’ is eating, chewing, or biting during his scene
5. Any time 80’s synth music brings the acting together

R.I.P. Rule: Chug for the entirety of Gooses’ death, from “eject” to limp body hoisting.

About: Marahute

I'm a widower and mother of three wonderful recently born babies. My husband was killed by an Australian poacher and never got to see his offspring. For an uncertain amount of time I was in prison until rescued by a brave young man and his two rodent friends. I will always fly high in the sky to bring you gripping tales of rescuers down under and the inherent thrills that come with such adventures.

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