Top Gun (1986) Drinking Game

Top Gun has been a staple in my life. It’s one of those movies that subconsciously ingrains itself inside you. For all of middle school, I thought that was actually how you made out (sorry 7th grade boyfriends). I knew I had met my best friend for life when racing go-carts she screamed, “I feel the need…” and I finished, “The need, for speeeeeeeed.” I even had the first line of my online-dating profile as, “Talk to me Goose.” You’d be surprised how many men responded with, “Duck?”. *condescending frown* Someday I dream my future husband will propose to me by singing, “You’ve lost that loving feeling…” I could go on forever about my love for the cowboys of the sky.

I’ve always wanted to make a drinking game to this movie, but my request for flybys had always been negative. So I asked another Top Gun enthusiast, the formal editor of UVM’s Water Tower.  He had a background in movie drinking game rules, so I knew I had come to the right place. He inspired some ideas and in the end- this is what I pulled together.

Take me to bed or lose me forever.

Drink every time…

  • Someone alludes to their penis/sexual innuendo
  • They high-five
  • Maverick is being rebellious/dangerous
  • Maverick’s dad is talked about/referred to
  • Sunglasses are worn

Death Rule

Drink every time a call sign is used.

iceman-maverick-i-am-dangerous-lrg

That’s right Ice… Man. I AM dangerous. *CHOMP*

I have an active imagination and always pictured Val at every scene just chomping after every line and Tony Scott screaming, “Goddamn-it, Val!” “Awe, come on Tony! I promise it’ll be so cool!!!”

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) Drinking Game

220px-TMNTMoviePosterAs I begin to write this I am laying on the couch in my winter coat, layered with 3 blankets (including an electric) and a space heater blowing dry hot air onto my feet. The heater and gas are broken in the house, which is currently 40 degrees. This is how I spent last night. Luckily the Gas Man is on his way. While I wait, I’ve decided to make good use of my time and watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trilogy VHS’. My love for VHS’ can be a different blog post. 

As kids, my brothers loved the Ninja Turtles. My mom made them home-made costumes for Halloween one year. I was always secretly jealous and wished I could have been Mikey right along with them. They took an empty refrigerator box, and transformed it into the TMNT Van. They even let me help with coloring it and I got to play along with them. Luckily for me, their love of ninjas was deeply ingrained in me and even now, I LOVE those fucking turtles… along with every other 90s-ninja movie.

Now, everyone knows that TMNT II: Secret of the Ooze is my favorite Ninja Turtle movie. EVERYBODY CALM THE FUCK DOWN I’M NOT SAYING IT’S THE BEST. The first is obviously the best. It’s real. You feel for the turtles. You even feel for the misfit, Danny, who’s Dad is kind of a piece of shit.  You wish you could talk to Splinter and tell him your family troubles and he could give you words of wisdom. You remember your unfailing love for pizza.  And even I got a chubby for April O’Neil (what’s the female chubby? Nubby? Ew). Casey Jones parades in, all vigilante and greasy… All around, the first movie is the best. No one can argue that.

But come the fuck on. The Secret of the Ooze has Keno. Ernie Reyes Jr. got his promising start playing Keno, the young and enthusiastic do-gooder pizza delivery boy, “Did I mention I study Martial-Arts?” who wants to join The Turtles. This lead to my top 5 favorite movie, Surf Ninjas. I also think Donatello KILLS IT in this one. He’s such a nerd and pulls out all the puns. AND VANILLA ICE. It’s just feels so right.

All of that said, after watching the trilogy, the first is actually the best with the drinking rules.  The Secret of the Ooze and TMNT III are just fun to watch if you’re a dork like me. I hope you enjoy this while getting shit-faced with your friends (or in my case, brothers) and reminiscing childhood.

COWABUNGA DUDES!



Drink every time:

  • Someone walks through a sewer
  • Raphael is being emo
  • The brothers act more like teenagers rather than turtles
  • The Turtles/Splinter uses a cliche 90’s term (cowabunga, tubulurhhh)
  • “Pizza” is said, or heard

Death Rule

Drink every time a classic “ninja” move is pulled out.

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The Three Musketeers Drinking Game

the three musketeers

Editor’s note: Don’t forget Bryan Adams/Rod Stewart/Sting’s collaborative single from the soundtrack, “All for Love.”

All for one, and one for all!

When my mom made my brothers and I watch “The Three Musketeers” (1993) as kids, I thought she was crazy. Little did I realize the genius in her, embedding in me values like, “all for one and one for all!”, and learning valuable skills such as, “the art of wenching”. A film with Charlie Sheen as the musketeer telling others to “go with God”, Kiefer Sutherland as the musketeer who is haunted by his broken heart, and Chris O’Donnell playing the feisty D’Artagnan, living out his dream of being a musketeer!!! If you drank every time I wrote “musketeer” or “D’Artagnan” in that sentence, you’re already on your A-Game.

Esteban and I argue whether this or “Last of the Mohicans” is the best drinking game. I would argue that LOTM is the best, but that “The Three Musketeers” is, by far, the most absurd. The reason? You can get shit-faced playing with only the death rule. The first time I played was with my older brother/author of this great website, and all we had in the house was a variety pack of Mike’s Hard lemonades (Mama only made that mistake once). We came up with five rules total. We were obviously underestimating the musketeers, because halfway through the movie we were literally in tears. Mostly because of the sugar from the Mikes’… but little did we know what the musketeers had in store for us.

I could not be more honored to share my favorite drinking game of all time with Esteban’s followers.

Drink every time...

  • There is a reference to the motto “All for one, and one for all!”
  • There is any physical injury
  • Cardinal Richelieu makes a pass at the queen
  • Porthos mentions a gift/weapon given to him by someone important/made up

DEATH RULE XXX (frankly the only rule you need)

  • Drink every time someone says “Musketeer” or “D’Artagnan”.